Category Archives: Random

Sunday Ramblings

I need to write more, but I always run into some sort of issue.

My mind wanders. I get side tracked. I feel like I have a million things to do. I wonder what I should even write about. There’s a thousand stories in my head, but does anyone want to hear them? My anxiety gets the best of me. Is my grammar proper? Are the colors acceptable? I start to write, sometimes even write all of it, then I decide it’s nonsense. I read my words over and over until they mean nothing anymore. Then I place it in the drafts folder. Forever. I want feedback, but I’m afraid to be judged. I want to be better, but worry it will never be enough. The list goes on and on, but most of it is in my head. I know this.

So, I think I will start this new thing. I’ll just start sharing stories, memories, rants and raves, favorite pics, quick snippets, long winded posts, whatever, and so on. Or at least, I will attempt this and see how long it lasts. Please stop me at any point if I’m getting out of control in some way. Kick me when I’m slacking, or nudge me when I’m hiding in the corner afraid to say anything. I really do want to know if what I’m doing here matters to others.

I’m always so worried about what everyone thinks, what they want to read about, and what they want to see here. I constantly ask for feedback from friends, family, fans, and even complete strangers. A few broken links were pointed out, but that’s about it. Honestly, I have only heard and read positive things about my site and what I post on social media. I’m beyond happy about that. There’s times that I get concerned when I don’t get any feedback, but then I remind myself that I also didn’t hear anything bad.

Hopefully everyone wasn’t just being nice to me and are now laughing at me behind my back. I worry about silly things like that. I also worry about what personal information I have shared here and what people think of me. I’m a nobody, but I have experienced a lot of things. I feel like I’ve been down the rabbit hole a few times throughout my life. I’ve changed so many times in so many ways, literally going in completely different directions. I’m so far from where I once was.

I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice In Wonderland

Now and always, my main focus is family of course. Part of that is making sure I can do all I can for them. This includes financially, but I’ve had some massive struggles in this department. It kills me because I’ve worked since I was 13 years old. I’ve also managed my own money since then. I’ve made a ton of mistakes, and should be way better off now that I’m 45.

I started to really look into anything I could do to save some money. That quickly turned into what can I do to make a few extra bucks. I’ve done a ton of research and testing in the process. I know how frustrating it is to go through all of that. So, I wanted to share and help others to do the same. After a while, I figured I could repurpose my site and share on my social media. I hate to spam anyone. I feel like most people don’t want to be bothered with this type of information. But then there’s those out there that I know could really use it. I hope I’m able to help in some way.

Also I want to mention that if you are going to try something out, please do use my referral links and codes. In most cases, I will receive an incentive. Sometimes you will also get something. I am torn about posting referral bonus information on my site. I’d like to but I also don’t want to cite incorrect information when it changes. So regardless of anything I ever mention here, please always verify all information with the company in question. I have no affiliation other than referring them.

It goes without saying that you should remember that everyone’s experience will vary accordingly. For example, I can do a whole lot better with surveys. I don’t apply myself as much as I should. But, I’ve looked into a lot of the survey companies out there. So I have a good idea of who pays what and the level of involvement. Someone else can then build on that.

That’s all. Sorry for the long winded post. I guess the moral to my story is that I will be sharing a bunch more randomly and I hope some of it helps someone out there.

Oh and by the way, I really do want to change the name from LadySkullshine eventually. I’m just having a hard time coming up with a new one. Sparkling Savings, The Savings Lady… Yeah, that’s all I got so far LOL. Any thoughts?

Have You Seen A Fuggler?

I’ve never heard of a Fuggler until just recently. They are quite interesting ‘Funny Ugly Monsters’.

Scarlet saw something at Five Below with one of these creatures on it. She thought it was the stuffed animal. To be honest, neither of us really checked it. Scarlet was just so happy. Until we got home. She ripped it open & found puzzle pieces inside. She was so upset and I felt really bad about it. So, I told her to pick out her favorite one on Amazon.

This is the one she chose. She absolutely loves this little guy.

Family, Happiness, & Crystals

This weekend was super awesome. Friday, Scarlet and I picked up her sister Haley. She ended up staying the weekend. We had a ton of fun. It was great to have her home with us. It was the happiest I’ve been for a very long while. We were sad to drop her off Sunday, but I’m very grateful that we got to spend the time with her.

On the way home, Scarlet and I stopped at Enchanted Meadows. It’s a local Metaphysical shop that we have been wanting to go in for a long time. They had a lot of really cool items. We chatted with the owner for a while, and learned a few things.

Scarlet got a feather dip pen and some all purpose ink. Then we looked though all the crystals to see what their properties were. She chose the yellow jasper, to help her with procrastination, intellect, and friendship. She also got a few other recommended stones. The owner was super nice and gave her an extra one for free. I got a kyanite to help with chakras and to remember my dreams, and a angelite for communication with the angels.

I wasn’t allowed to touch Scarlet’s because she already cleaned them lol, so they are shown here in her satchel bag.

Overall, it was the best weekend we’ve had in a while.

New Sites And More

Of course, I had the usual daily chores and then some today. It’s normally a bit crazy here. I took Scarlet shopping for some clothes and whatnot. Her sister Haley is visiting from Canada, so she needed some fancy clothes. This morning, we had a slight emergency with one of our pet rats, Dollie. Her one eye wouldn’t open. She’s much better now.

Once things calmed down a bit, I ventured online to get a few things done. I visited Wattpad for a bit. I recently created an account, but I’m not really familiar with this platform yet. I wasn’t sure if I would actually write there, read other’s stories, or just share some links. I do kind of like the book format, so I started to write a guide. I didn’t get very far, but you’re welcome to check it out.

I then headed over to Quora, and decided to create a “Space”. If I understand correctly, it’s basically a group. If you’re on Quora and want to check it out, I called it ‘Supplement Your Income‘.

At some point in there, I learned all about Narwhals. We had the Paranormal show on in the background. There was a unicorn sighting, which prompted a debate over their existence. This then led to the unicorns of the sea, Narwhals. I felt the need to read up on them a bit after this. When Scarlet is done playing Roblox with her friends, I will share my newfound knowledge. She will greatly appreciate that.

Thanks for taking a moment to read this. Have a great day!

Lost Without My Fitbit

Happy Saturday! I’ve been so swamped with my daughter’s schooling and some new online tasks that I recently found. I’ll be sharing this soon, as they have already paid me. Since I had this new income, and cashed out on a few apps, I decided it was time to make a decent purchase for myself. Of course, using the Amazon gift cards that I’ve earned.

My Fitbit Ionic stopped working properly almost two months ago. It wasn’t tracking things like it should and not showing the right time. I did everything I could to fix it, but eventually it stopped charging altogether. I researched new ones, and spent even longer trying to justify spending the money in my head.

I really missed my Fitbit. I never looked at the actual watch, but I’m a dork for the slew of information it captures and the stats. I feel lost without it. I also want to start using the other features like Spotify and FitPay. I finally broke down and purchased the Fitbit Charge 4.

It arrived today, and of course I immediately dropped it when I removed it from the box. It seems to be okay. I was able to set it up quickly and easily. My smart scale is connected, and I’m ready to try to lose some weight again. I was doing great until a few months back. It may be new medications or stress, but it needs to stop.

Add me to your Fitbit friends to help motivate me to get moving.

Thanks for visiting!

New Pet Rat Babies

Nora, Dollie, & Suzy

Hello and Happy Sunday!

Just recently, I mentioned getting some pet rats for Scarlet. I wasn’t too sure about this at first, but I did a whole bunch of research on them. Apparently they are like low maintenance dogs. Very loyal and loving. I know, I know. They are still rats, and a lot of people just can’t get past that. Including my fiance. He helped build the cage and fix the water bottle, while he reminded me they are rodents that people pay to get rid of. Oh, the things he puts up with.

I wasn’t happy with my calls to the pet stores. Then I found out ratteries existed. I looked into this and found one nearby. We watched their adoption video to pick out our favorite ones. Scarlet named hers right away, Nora and Dollie. We had to wait a week for them to socialize some more and go through temperament tests. Unfortunately, one failed and Scarlet had to pic another one.

Friday finally came and my car still wasn’t driving properly. But, I was determined to pick up up our new rat babies. It needed a good test drive anyway. So off we went, driving about 20 mph or so for a good portion of the ride. At some point, my car actually felt like it was starting to go faster. A lot faster. It’s so very weird. Maybe it just needed that extended drive?

When we arrived, we immediately fell in love with the rats we chose. They are 6 and 8 weeks old, and have really great temperaments. We have been bonding with them over the last few days. We also introduced Bashy to them a few times, and they all did great. I finally named mine Suzy. It took me until today to decide, but it seems to fit her best.

Scarlet has been doing really well with the rats. No problems with her allergies or asthma. Her vocal and physical tics have actually decreased a little bit. She said she feels more calm around them. I’m hoping they will help her with school too. She has been slightly on edge since school has started back up. She gets extremely overwhelmed, her tics massively increase, and she eventually shuts down. I do everything I can to prevent it from getting to that point, but it can be difficult. We shall see this week.

Thanks for visiting and taking the time to read my rat story.

Happy Saturday

Hello and happy Saturday!

I meant to write more, but things have been extremely busy here. We are still trying to figure out what’s wrong with my car (since June). It may be resolved, but I have to do a longer test drive. We are also dealing with the aftermath of some severe flooding we had in our basement. Nearly everything was destroyed. Then we have preparation for school to start on Monday. My daughter will be in a new program through her online school. I’m slightly nervous. She’s much more excited for tomorrow. We will be watching a live stream of baby rats that she wants to adopt. In addition to all this and more, I’ve done some research and have been testing out some new sites to make extra money.

Thanks for visiting! Stay tuned to find out what sites I will be adding.

Photo Feedback

This morning, I was filled with the obsession to find a new site to post my pictures. Somewhere that others can give unbiased feedback. The only thing I really came across was 500px. I forgot that I already signed up several years ago, but never used it. I’m locked out, so I created a new account: LadySkullshine1.

Normally I will share some pictures and random memes on Instagram and sometimes Facebook. On rare occasions I will post personal pics that I’m really proud of, moments I’ve captured, things I just want to share with others. I appreciate everyone’s likes and comments, more than they will ever know. I just wish I knew what they truly thought. I enjoy learning how to do things better and progressing. I’m not fully convinced 500px is what I was looking for, but it’s a start.

In the meantime, here are a few of my favorite flower pictures that I recently took. Some are from my porch, my birthday, and flowers I got my daughter. Check them out and let me know what you think. You can also follow me on Instagram.

Thank you for visiting my site and reading my blog!
– Jessie

What’s In A Name? Anxiety

I posted earlier today about changes I just made to my site. I mentioned my OCD being a factor. I actually wrote more about it, along with other issues, but I decided to separate the posts.

I would post a lot more, but my anxiety takes control and throws me for a loop. Every single time.

One of the issues that I face constantly is really silly. I have a lot of trouble just naming a post. I do it at the very end and it will literally delay things from being published. I really want something that will capture what I am saying, and will grab someone’s attention.

It’s not just the act of naming the post, it’s what transpires from there.

As I try to find the right words, my anxiety takes over. None of the words seem to fit properly. Then, I wonder if anyone even reads the title and what I have to say, or really cares to begin with. I begin to second guess myself altogether. By then, I’ve already read my post repeatedly. I constantly check for errors, better words, rearrange, and delete things. But, I do it again. Except this time, I determine if it’s even worth posting.

Sometimes, all of this just leads to another post in the drafts folder.

When I do finally hit the publish button, my anxiety and panic takes on a whole other level. I think about who will see it and what people will think of me. Will they judge me? I get embarrassed that I said something stupid, didn’t make sense, or made mistakes.

I also think about the fact that I have followers from all different stages of my life. I am not at all who I was before, or before that. But did they even really know me when the knew me? Probably not. I wonder if I’m judged by a characteristic that I had at that time, but I’ve grown since then. Do they know that?

Does their past judgement affect their current views of what I have to say now, as a very different person.

I know all of this is in my head and a lot of it is trivial. I’m my biggest critic and constantly push myself. I want to do more, but then I feel like it doesn’t matter. I distance myself until I find my inspiration to return.

Sometimes it just helps to know that I’m really helping someone.

Tourette’s: Scarlet’s Vocal Tics

I previously wrote about my 13 year old daughter, in My Scarlet Always Sharing. Several years ago, she had been diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder, Autism, Tourette’s, Depression, and ADHD. Scarlet is all about awareness, sharing her experiences and feelings, and helping others. We chatted about this multiple times, so I will start a new section for her shortly.

Today, I wanted to share an audio clip that Scarlet recently posted on her Instagram. (Don’t have your speaker volume too high when you listen to it.) She wants others to know what it’s like when she has vocal tics. She described it in her own post as “VOCAL TICS: Tic attacks can last for a few seconds to sometimes minutes. They are extremely tiring and sometimes hurt if physical. #tourettesawareness”.

What you will hear is just one of a series of vocal tics that Scar experiences. She sometimes will scream, make loud noises, or shout words repeatedly. This happens several times a day, along with her physical tics. Those may include clapping, hitting things or herself. These tics can be especially tiring and painful for her. It’s sometimes difficult to differentiate what is happening. I can tell for the most part if she is okay, or if I need to check in on her. But when I’m not sure and she is irritated, I run the risk of escalating things even further. I try to approach everything lightly, meanwhile I’m a mess inside. I’m always worried about my baby and how everything affects her. It’s my job to make her environment the best I possibly can.

Here is the audio clip I mentioned. Again, don’t have your speakers too loud.

Happy For Online School

I am really glad that my girls convinced me to let them do online school so many years ago. Especially with how everything is right now. Honestly, I was already partially on board from the start. I just needed to make sure it was right for them. They are both extremely intelligent (like all moms say), but they really are brilliant.

I let my oldest Haley try it first and she excelled. It worked out perfect for her. Scarlet started shortly after Haley, because she is younger and has special needs. She was going through a lot in general, already having trouble in school, and also being bullied at the time. Scarlet was always the one to stand up for anyone being bullied and stood her ground. Now, no one stuck up for her, and even her best friend was nasty to her. She had been missing a lot of school. They put her on a 504 Program to help get her through the rest of the year. I then had her start online school through our district, but we moved and had to start again at another cyber school. Eventually, I found an one that anyone can attend, no matter where they live.

The new online school has been great working with us. She now has an Individualized Education Plan and gets one hour of school counselling every week via Zoom. Scarlet hates the camera, so they let her turn it off. Physical and online school has been a major struggle for her. She doesn’t understand something, then quickly gets overwhelmed, and her tics get a lot worse. Once that gets to a certain point, she shuts down and nothing gets done. I had to find ways to prevent that, but also make sure she is still submitting her work.

Scarlet is definitely doing a lot better now in Summer School. I monitor all of her assignments and make a new list for her daily. It shows how many assignments are in each subject and her current grade. I am learning the lessons with her so that I can teach her in other ways that she understands. We just have to get through another week this summer. She will then be in a new program where she will enter seventh grade in the fall, then graduate eighth grade in the spring. Some subjects are grouped together so it’s not as much work. For example, Science and Math are one lesson.

All of this sounds like a lot. I understand that online school is not for everyone, and not everyone is able to do it. It’s especially tough in case of special needs. There’s pros and cons either way. Honestly, when I compare it to sending her to a physical school, I’d take online any day. I just have to work harder to make sure Scarlet is managing things better. Who is better to do that than Mom?

Scarlet’s Dark Art

So my friend invited us to her “Dark Art” event, benefiting Glaucoma research. The idea was to paint as though you are blind, using unknown colors and items to paint with. It was this past Sunday, but we weren’t able to attend. I thought it would be nice for my daughter Scarlet to still participate from home. When I told her, she was really excited about doing this. Scarlet loves to paint and loves to help others with awareness. So it was right up her alley.

Once I had everything in the area covered, we got started. I blind folded Scarlet and gave her a few random items. I wasn’t sure what she could really use but I grabbed a pencil, a straw, some cotton balls, q-tips, and a plastic paint tool. I picked out pink, purple, yellow, and pearl paint colors. Then got my camera ready to record and take pictures, of course.

She started off with the cotton balls for the sky. At one point, she turned the canvas sideways without realizing it. Part way through, we had to pause filming. There was way too much paint all over her hands, so I had to run to get wet wipes. Her eyes stayed covered the whole time. I even called her out at one point just to make sure. Later in the video, she reached back for a wet wipe and I yelled “Don’t touch me!” lol.

It was very messy, but she had a lot of fun. We will most likely do this or something like it again. For the event, my friends had to paint for an hour and a half. Scarlet painted for a lot less than than that. We got about six minutes recorded and lots of pictures. Ignore the part where I fall through Scarlet’s hamper LMAO.

My Scarlet. Always Sharing, Helping

Very few know this, but my youngest daughter suffers from a few disabilities. I belong to several Facebook groups relating to Autism, Tourette’s, Children with Disabilities, and so on. I like to read through the posts and think about how it relates or not. On a very slim occasion, I will comment with some of our own experiences. I say slim because I rarely post or comment on anything to begin with, let alone a stranger’s post in a public group. Not to mention, while they may be reaching out, they may not care what I have to say.

I keep to myself about a lot of things, especially with how the world is today. But I really wouldn’t mind sharing our experiences or any suggestions, if it will help anyone else. My daughter also feels the same way. We’ve talked about it often and she loves to help others. With that said, I’ll give you a little bit of her background.

My daughter Scarlet is 13 years old. She had a seizure right before her first birthday. She’s had asthma and allergies for most of her life, along with severe eye problems and trouble walking. Several years ago, she was diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. They later said she had Autism and referred us to a Neurologist, who then confirmed her diagnosis for Tourette’s. She has since been diagnosed with Depression and ADHD.

Scarlet has been through a lot of medications, doctors, therapists, coping skills, emotions, and broken items. It’s been a long and windy road. There is still the occasional meltdown along with bouts of severe tics, but we manage it a lot better. Some of those meltdowns have been my own, wishing I could do better and do more to help her.

That’s just a few tidbits. Since I know Scar is comfortable with it, I think I might share a bit more about our experiences here. Maybe some coping skills we have learned, adventures we end up on, symptoms, silly moments, and so on. I might add some of her art as well. She loves to paint. It helps her a lot. She has a lot of great qualities and is full of so much love. She is my Sunshine.

Invisible? Anxiety Driven Rant

Sometimes I feel completely invisible. Not heard or seen. I’m not referring to anyone or thing in particular causing it. It’s just a sad feeling in general that comes over me at times. Then I battle through all the emotions that come with it.

Most times, my anxiety takes control and forces me to want to hide. While other times, I feel like I’m jumping up and down screaming look at me! look at me! (like Mr. Meseeks from Rick & Morty)

I hate it. It interferes with so many things. Like, how do I go from one moment of hiding from the world, then the very next moment I feel ignored and get upset. I just want to go one day with zero anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and all those wonderful mental battles. It would definitely help my other health issues as well. But no matter how much I work on my mindset and make it seem like I have it all under control on the outside, I’m a train wreck on the inside.

Alexa Is Growing On Me

A while back, I posted “Alexa. Was I Just Paranoid?”. I had explained that originally, I wasn’t on board with the Alexas, Siri, and all that. I love technology, but I just didn’t feel comfortable with it. I finally came to the realization that if I’m going to be paranoid, then I might as well get rid of all of our technology. I won’t do that. So, I managed to find a great deal and we bought two Echo dots. That was a few months ago.

The Echos have definitely been very handy. I ask Alexa to set timers for me every time I cook. My fiance often asks his Echo to tell him jokes. She’ll let us know when our Amazon packages are arriving and remind us to feed the puppy. We failed to set up the Roku, but I’ll try again when I can focus on it. We also use them as an intercom system in our home. Not to mention, all the googling she’s done for us.

Recently, I have been really interested in the smart bulbs. I just didn’t quite understand exactly how they worked. I did some research, then ordered a set which arrived today. I set them up, connected the Echo, and I love them. There are so many colors and you can cycle through them. The reading light setting is really bright. I’m so glad that I ordered these bulbs. I even got them free! I’m testing the bulbs and providing a report to the merchant.

I have no regrets buying the Echo Dots and now we have beautiful lighting in our home with ease of control. Have I said how much I love technology?

Today Is My Birthday!

Happy 45th birthday to me! 45?! And still sparkly!!

It really was an awesome day! It started with a birthday text from my Haley, chocolate chip cookies with Scarlet, flowers from my mom, randomly found notes and home made cards from my Scarlet and my fiance Sully.

I appreciate all the experiences throughout my life so far, good and bad. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot. No matter where life takes me, my greatest achievement ever will always be my babygirls. I’m beyond proud and grateful, and would be lost without them!

Always Rearranging

I am always rearranging everything. Physical things around me, my site, social accounts, spreadsheets, and so on. (Even my life has changed so many times, but that’s a post for another day.) It doesn’t help that my ADHD and OCD constantly battle each other. Then add my memory loss, among other things. It’s out of control.

I rearrange drawers, cabinets, paperwork, nick nacks, and anything that isn’t bolted down. My family often gets mad at me for this. They can’t find the things that were there before. I always justify that it’s in such a better spot now. Then I sometimes forget where I moved them to.

I reorganize my spreadsheets before I complete the tasks that they were created for. I have a budget spreadsheet that has morphed so many times. I also have several test budget spreadsheets that never went much further than that. I often get so heavily involved in a sheet, then get sidetracked. A lot of times, I forget that I created them and what my intentions were.

I rearrange my site to better organize it so it flows and looks cleaner. I’m always trying it out this way or that way. Then a week later, I learn something and try to implement it. At some point later, I decide to change something else. Then I’m looking at different themes. During all of this, I think that no one will probably even notice the changes. I’m also not posting as much while this is happening because I get so overly involved with the layout. (By the way, I’m about to change the home page….I think.)

So with all that said, please forgive me for constantly moving things.
I’m really not trying to annoy anyone.

My Day: Car & Sprinker Dilemmas

We started off our day excited to get out for a bit, wash the new car, pick up some groceries, and whatnot. Then come home and run the sprinkler for my Scarlet and our puppy Bastian. Then reality set in.

Long story short, I recently sold my VW Convertible and purchased a Subaru wagon. We haven’t driven it much yet. Today we ventured out on our happy way, until we noticed that we couldn’t go over 20 mph. We pulled over and popped the hood to check things out. After a bit, we decided to get the car back home. So, none of our above mentioned things got done and now my car won’t work.

Once home, my daughter reminded me that we planned to set up the sprinkler. We don’t have a pool, the public one is closed, so it’s the next best thing. Or so I thought. Scarlet never played with a sprinkler before so she was excited to try it out. She got her bathing suit on and we got Bashy outside. I got the hose connected, and then the sprinkler. We started it up and yay! ….???

Bastian stretched out his chain as far as he could go to get away from the water. Scarlet jumped around a bit while trying to adjust the sprinkler to different spray settings. She said she was good and to turn it off. I disconnected the hose, it sprayed everywhere and got her in the eyes. I ran to shut it off and got everyone inside. Once everything calmed down, I asked if she at least had a little fun in the water. She said no, her and Bastian were terrified.

I guess we will be looking into small pool options. After, the car is brought back to life…hopefully.

Our Puppy Bashy

We have a black lab/ pitbull mixed puppy named Sebastian. He will be eight years old this year. He is my daughter’s Emotional Support Animal. I couldn’t imagine our lives without him.

When we rescued Bashy, he was only about five weeks old, and already had maybe three or four homes. I’m pretty sure he was on Craigslist at some point too. When I met with the last owner, they just gave him up like it was no big deal. I felt horrible for him. He was really tiny, full of worms and fleas. We got him to the vet and he was better in no time.

Bastian was originally supposed to be my puppy. My youngest daughter Scarlet really connected with him. She would carry him around and tell him what to do. He followed her everywhere and let her lay on him as he got bigger. While he is the most gentle, loving dog, he’s very protective of us both. Even when Scarlet and I are goofing around, he is on guard to make sure we don’t hurt each other. He gets so worked up that he dumps out his bin of toys and starts to rip them around.

Here’s just a few of my favorite pics of our Bashy.