Category Archives: Random

All, Random

Always Rearranging

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I am always rearranging everything. Physical things around me, my site, social accounts, spreadsheets, and so on. (Even my life has changed so many times, but that’s a post for another day.) It doesn’t help that my ADHD and OCD constantly battle each other. Then add my memory loss, among other things. It’s out of control.

I rearrange drawers, cabinets, paperwork, nick nacks, and anything that isn’t bolted down. My family often gets mad at me for this. They can’t find the things that were there before. I always justify that it’s in such a better spot now. Then I sometimes forget where I moved them to.

I reorganize my spreadsheets before I complete the tasks that they were created for. I have a budget spreadsheet that has morphed so many times. I also have several test budget spreadsheets that never went much further than that. I often get so heavily involved in a sheet, then get sidetracked. A lot of times, I forget that I created them and what my intentions were.

I rearrange my site to better organize it so it flows and looks cleaner. I’m always trying it out this way or that way. Then a week later, I learn something and try to implement it. At some point later, I decide to change something else. Then I’m looking at different themes. During all of this, I think that no one will probably even notice the changes. I’m also not posting as much while this is happening because I get so overly involved with the layout. (By the way, I’m about to change the home page….I think.)

So with all that said, please forgive me for constantly moving things.
I’m really not trying to annoy anyone.

All, Random

My Day: Car & Sprinker Dilemmas

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We started off our day excited to get out for a bit, wash the new car, pick up some groceries, and whatnot. Then come home and run the sprinkler for my Scarlet and our puppy Bastian. Then reality set in.

Long story short, I recently sold my VW Convertible and purchased a Subaru wagon. We haven’t driven it much yet. Today we ventured out on our happy way, until we noticed that we couldn’t go over 20 mph. We pulled over and popped the hood to check things out. After a bit, we decided to get the car back home. So, none of our above mentioned things got done and now my car won’t work.

Once home, my daughter reminded me that we planned to set up the sprinkler. We don’t have a pool, the public one is closed, so it’s the next best thing. Or so I thought. Scarlet never played with a sprinkler before so she was excited to try it out. She got her bathing suit on and we got Bashy outside. I got the hose connected, and then the sprinkler. We started it up and yay! ….???

Bastian stretched out his chain as far as he could go to get away from the water. Scarlet jumped around a bit while trying to adjust the sprinkler to different spray settings. She said she was good and to turn it off. I disconnected the hose, it sprayed everywhere and got her in the eyes. I ran to shut it off and got everyone inside. Once everything calmed down, I asked if she at least had a little fun in the water. She said no, her and Bastian were terrified.

I guess we will be looking into small pool options. After, the car is brought back to life…hopefully.

All, Random

Cha ching cha cha ching cha ching

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The loud, annoying, embarrassing sounds coming from the Coinstar.
Even more amplified by my ridiculous anxiety.

When I start the Coinstar machine, it is very loud. I feel like everyone is looking at me. Then I begin dumping the clanky coins, which always seems to be never ending. I feel like I’m in my own world just watching the coins, pushing them around as they get stuck, refilling the tray, and so on. It’s almost like a trance. In the meantime, I’m having panic attacks. I get really warm and my face gets red. I feel like everyone knows I’m a mess.

It happens every time without fail. No matter how I approach it or what I tell myself. I’m not entirely sure which part of my mental issues causes it, but it’s not a fun experience. I hate it. I hate the anxiety that comes over me. I don’t care that every few grocery trips, I have to lug a heavy coffee canister full of change to the store. I’m not embarrassed to use the machine. I’m embarrassed that it affects me this way.

I appreciate that we have the change to begin with. Whenever my fiance is sorting and researching his boxes of coins, the less interesting ones go into the canister. It’s recycled money, but it makes me feel better to turn it into Amazon cash to be used on family and household items. Knowing that helps me to get through my silly bout of anxiety. I just wish I could control it better to begin with.

All, Random

Happy Mom’s Day!

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I had a pretty good day yesterday. My 13 year old Scarlet had already bought me pink and purple petunias with her own money the day before. I took her out with me to ride in the car and we happened to see a flower tent. She used her allowance and found a buy one get one deal. Saving money, just like her mom lol. Then on Mother’s Day, my 20 year old Haley texted me first thing in the morning to brighten my day. Later on, Scarlet played the song “Mom” by Meghan Trainor as she sang along.

I’m so very grateful for my babygirls. They are my everything.
Without them, I wouldn’t be Mama Bear.

“Mom” By Meghan Trainor
Lyrics per AZLyrics

You might have a mom, she might be the bomb
But ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Her love’s ’til the end, she’s my best friend
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine

She my world, she’s my heart and there’s no denying
I’m her girl no matter what even when I’m lying
She loving me, loving me, loving me, loving me, love
She love me like nobody else
I’m telling you, telling you, telling you, telling you all
She taught me how to love myself

You might have a mom, she might be the bomb
But ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Her love’s ’til the end, she’s my best friend
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine

See we go way back, oh, I remember
All the times that I cried, she made me feel better
She loving me, loving me, loving me, loving me, love
She love me like nobody else
I’m telling you, telling you, telling you, telling you all
She taught me how to love myself

You might have a mom, she might be the bomb
But ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Her love’s ’til the end, she’s my best friend
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Oh, how she loves me to the moon and back
That’s what she told me
Her love never ends, she’s my best friend
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine

I was just wanted to call you to tell you I love you
Aww, I love you, too
I miss you already
Aww, that’s so sweet, what’s going on?
Just writing songs, my mom song
Aww, I love you to the moon and back
My heart hurts, I love you so much
I love you more

You might have a mom, she might be the bomb
But ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Her love’s ’til the end, she’s my best friend
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
You might have a mom, she might be the bomb
But ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Her love’s ’til the end, she’s my best friend
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Oh, how she loves me to the moon and back
That’s what she told me

Her love never ends, she’s my best friend
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine
Baby, baby, ain’t nobody, no
Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine

All, Random

Save The Fairy Homes!

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Long, long ago…

I always told my girls when they were little “Don”t walk on the grass. You might step on a fairy. The mushrooms are their homes, so be especially careful.” We would smile, laugh, and look for mushrooms.

My ex father in law would then say “Step on all the mushrooms, kill all the fairies”. My girls would get all excited, run around, and smash the mushrooms. I would shout “Nooooo!!!!” and it would be too late. Except, when I said “no” it came out “Noah”. He would come back with “Noah? He built the ark!” LMAO!

Just the sight of a mushroom, brings back this rush of silly memories.

All, Random

Good Morning Sunshine

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Every day, is a new adventure.

I start off a lot of mornings singing “You Are My Sunshine” to my sleepy daughter. I don’t sing very well and I often mess up the words to every song. But my happy intentions are always there. I just watch my level of annoyance, especially when she’s just waking up.

Usually, she doesn’t get up right away. So I take out her puppy Bashy. I always search for the biggest, brightest dandelion to bring back to my babygirl. I return singing about the prettiest flower for the prettiest girl as she finally wakes up. This time, she thanks me and tells me that Bashy will enjoy munching on the dandelion later.

How do you like to start your day?

All, Random

Sparkles

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Another one of my nicknames is “Sparkles”. I love sparkles! Plus, I am generally a very happy, unicorns and rainbows kind of person. I do my best to stay positive no matter what.

Oh, I definitely have my moments of quite the opposite. Also, I recently went through quite a bit of devastation. So I did lose my sparkle for a bit. But overall, one of my mottos really is Smile, Sparkle, Shine!

I recall when I used to work in the office and at the lab, I was always the annoying happy girl with ADHD. I would be at work as early as 6 AM, chugging massive amounts of caffeine. I used to get a large iced latte with three extra turbo shots every single morning before work. That’s when I was called “Turbo Sparkles”. I stayed happy and bouncy all day. The more annoyed my coworkers were, the more I wanted to share my happiness. This was not quite appreciated by everyone.

I never thought it was a bad thing, so I never understood why I always caught so much flack for it. Everyone is always so busy being gretzy about everything and bringing everyone else down with them. I’d rather be the weird happy girl that people think is oblivious. I’m really not, I just refuse to get sucked into all that negativity. It’s really not worth it.

Smile! Sparkle! Shine!

All, Random

Alexa. Was I Just Paranoid?

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I broke down and joined the bandwagon.
I purchased two Echo Dots the other day.

When they first came out, I was very much against anything of the sort. I was paranoid about them listening to everything we say. Not that it’s a major deal, we aren’t doing anything illegal or concerning. It’s just uncomfortable. Not to mention, a few other disturbing things I heard about them.

At that time, I dismissed them altogether.
I really just never thought I would ever have one. Until now.

My fiance thought it would be a good idea to have them for a few reasons. The one feature that I do like the most so far, is that we can use it as an intercom. I can talk to him quickly and easily when he is in the basement. Or if he needs something, he doesn’t have to take the stairs unnecessarily. He has multiple sclerosis, so it can sometimes pose a difficult task. That alone, makes it worth it. And of course, I found the best deal that I could.

Part of me is actually excited to try it out. I do love technology.
Also, I really think I’m over my paranoia.

Was it just me? Or do others have concerns with Alexa and other similar services?

All, Random

Can Dinner Just Be Less Stressful?

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I somehow went from very rarely cooking some extremely basic items, to cooking 2 meals a night for dinner. I never learned to cook. It was all hands on disasters. I tried to learn in my twenties, but was faced with more criticism than success. I pretty much didn’t care much after that. I got lucky over the years that I never had to cook a lot or other people did it. Until recently.

My fiance did the cooking for a bit. He taught me a few things here and there and helped me to build my kitchen confidence. I’m nowhere close to making big fancy meals, but at some point I’ve taken over our daily dinners. Except, I seem to be making a lot of double meals lately.

I can eat mostly anything. I’m not picky and I am fine with leftovers. However, my daughter and fiance each have their quirks when it comes to food. Either they don’t like the same foods, or they have to be prepared a particular way. Even a TV dinner has to be tweaked before I can serve it.

I’m grateful that I finally have the desire to cook now, but I just wish it was a little less stressful. I’m working on learning new recipes in hopes of finding more agreeable meals for everyone.

What kinds of quick and easy meals do you like to make?

All, Random

Is It Just Me And My Anxiety?

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Against my better judgement, I ventured out today. I had to. We were really low on groceries. I packed my sanitizer, got my mask on, and shoved my anxiety down as far as I could.

The amount of people that are still out and about is amazing to me. I just don’t understand it. Whether, I chose a bad time or not. There shouldn’t be this many people out! Not to mention, they are oblivious to social distancing rules and are rude.

There’s a good portion of people not wearing masks. I realize it’s a choice, but I feel more comfortable wearing one and seeing others wearing one.

I went to a drive through and asked why they weren’t a wearing mask. They replied that they aren’t sick, so there’s no point.
But what if they are? What if they picked it up from a customer and didn’t realize it, didn’t have any symptoms, and continued to spread it to others. That scares me.

The other night, we ordered take out. The delivery guy got entirely too close to me and touched me. He had no mask and no gloves. I didn’t want to be rude and tell him to back off, but I was getting close. What happened to contact-less delivery?

Am I being completely ridiculous?