One Train Wreck After Another…

This past weekend was an ongoing series of horrible train wrecks one right after the other. It may not have been so bad overall, but one of my mental medications ran out on Thursday and I never called the doctor Friday to have it refilled. I was a bit preoccupied so it slipped my mind.

Friday was full of anxiety over the upcoming co-parenting session, the session itself, along with the residual emotional wreckage that it brings. I mostly worry about my youngest daughter. She has been through enough as it is, then added her multiple disabilities to the mix of things. I see what all this does to her and it’s really not right. I just want to actually accomplish something with the sessions, along with learning how to prevent our vicious cycles from happening again. Wishful thinking, stupid girl.

Saturday comes along and I’m thinking that I’m focused and can accomplish some shopping. The moment I ventured out, I felt nauseous. I figure some DD coffee and a snack will help, but I want to break my habits so I duck into the dollar store for a moment to grab a few things and make sure I’m up for the grocery trip. That confirms that I need to head to Dunkin, but the line is out to the street. McDonald’s is next but they tell me there are no ice bags when I ordered iced coffee so I thought they meant I couldn’t get coffee. Turns out, they got orders mixed up.

I texted my fiance saying I really hope all of this isn’t a indication to go back home. Despite my feeling, I went on to food shopping.

Partially through my grocery trip, I stop at the customer service desk to follow up on a previous visit when I overpaid for grapes. The sign said $4.99 each. I paid $5.99/lb. She said they always charge per pound. I had a pic as proof, but had to locate it. So I let someone go ahead of me. He carried on for some time arguing because a discount won’t apply to his app for use until the following day. I waited patiently and then slightly impatiently when it became monotonous for too long. I got closer and said out loud “Sir, you know I’m still waiting here.” I know it was rude, but I was nice enough to let him go ahead. It was time to move along. He did. I immediately showed the lady the pic. Another lady ran off to check the current sign. In the end, I had my receipt and the date stamped pic of their sign, so I received my $9 something back.

Continued on to the rest of my shopping, in a somewhat crowded store. I managed to get through it, then it was time to cash in all my coins at the very loud clunking machine. I do this every few trips since we always have a lot of coins left from the bank rolls when my fiance gets done with them. If you never used a CoinStar, when you first start the machine, it wants to know if you want a cash voucher or gift card. I usually take the Amazon gift card because it’s free and I’m a freak for saving money. I knew I spent a lot on this trip and I always hear about how silly I am about savings. I bit the bullet and took the cash. I spent more on fees than I got back on my grapes. I later declared that I will never ever do that again. Amazon cards always and forever.

Finally, I pay and begin to load up my truck. Most of it inside, some in the bed. I’m running the heat so it’s nice and cozy when I get in. I shut the door and realize instantly that I locked my keys in my now running truck. My purse and phone, and about $300 in groceries are also locked in there. The store had me call the non emergency police, then I called AAA. Apparently someone else called the police from their Onstar. They reported that someone needed ems for panic attacks in the parking lot. So the police finally do show up and got me in at least. AAA would have been another 40 mins of me freezing and sobbing about how stupid I am. By the way, I don’t think I was displaying major signs of distress, but thank you mysterious Onstar person.

Sunday I’m thinking is a new day and can only get better. I wake up to a dead phone that will not charge. It was pretty beat up to begin with, but now it was shot. I was mainly upset because I was chatting with my oldest daughter right before bed. The rest of my aggravation has been in trying to figure out how to access certain accounts and other items now lost. Not to mention, trying to find a new phone.

Meanwhile throughout all of this, my meds have my head screwed up. I get gretzy really easily and I’m lashing out. I’m doing and saying stupid impulsive things that I know I shouldn’t but have no filter or control. My fiance always gets the brunt of it. Once I come to my senses, I’m usually sobbing for hours because I’m so sorry and feel horrible about everything.

I get through it. I always do. Somehow. I am definitely fortunate to have my youngest daughter that keeps me going, and my fiance who keeps me centered and focused. He takes a lot of crap from me as well. I’m grateful knowing no matter what the universe throws at me, I can get through it.

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